Controversy over Islam

The following are two posts that came as a response to an article on Amitabh Bachchan on our office blog. The first post here is a comment by a person named Shahid Jalal from Pakistan. I have lifted it ditto from our blog and pasted it here. He has invited Amitabh Bachchan to accept Islam. Read on to know what he is up to.

The second post was my response to his comment. I have replied as Shahryar Khan, a journalist from New Delhi, India. Have fun reading it!

Invitation towards Islam
to Amitab Bachan.

Sir,
I am going to invite you to religion Islam.
i think in this world every one is realize that what is his distination where will he go. do little think bit that how is the day converted to night and night to day.
sun is rising in the morning and then get down in the evening. think about Amrish poori who was yesterday with you but today he is not available where go his wealth his respect what is his Anjam.my English is not very well that's why i would like to type in Hindi prounciation.
Agar App Molve Tariq Jamil jo Pakistani hay uski taqareer wali CD's Sunlay apko buhut information ajagee.

Sir, Is Dunyia ko bananay wala koi hay app jo is bagwan ki Ibadat karthay ho ap is kay baray may sochay key Ieh bechara to matti ka bana howa aik putla hai ye kiya karsakayga.
Plz khafa mat hona.

laiken aik din aiga jo kayamat ka din hoga ur wo din 50000 years key barabar hoga aur wo hesab kitab ka din hoga. os din suraj zamin say aik mile key distance per hoga.
aur sab insaniat jo start say lay key kayamat tak Aingay sab zinda hojaingay. aur sab log apnay Pasinay may dubay hongay. yeh main apnay app say nahi bolta balkay yeh to Mera Rab Allah Apnay Akhri kitab Quran majeed may farmatha hay.
es juti Izzat aur shuhrat per duka mat kao yeh teray marnay ki sat khatam hojaingey fiker agar karni hay to mot keh bad jo zindagi hay os key baray mai socho.
wo buhut sakht din hoga laiken jo is dunya may Allah ko razi karingay wo os din Allah keh Arsh key nichay hongay. Aur Allah keh Mehman Hongay.
App Zara Dr. Zakir Naik ko bhi study karay.
app ko kis nay banay kio banay kia maqsad hay zara socha.

Allah App ko Musalman honay ke Hidayat day.

Shahid Jalal

Shahid miyaan, Assalaam o Alaikum! Islam aur Hinduism, in dono mazhabon ke baare mein jo aapki raai hain, woh qabil-e-tareef hain! Mashallah, kya roshan khayalat hain aap kay! Nacheez ki yeh raai hain ki aap apne falsafe, aawaaz-e-buland mein Radio Karachi ke zariye bayaan karein!

Ae mere roshan dimaagh dost, koi bhi insaan chaahe Hindu ya Mussalman, agar aap ke roshan khayalat ke rubaru aa jaaye to maare hasi ke mar jaaye. Amitabh Bachchan sahib ko aap Mussalman kyun banana chaahte hain? Woh jaise hain, shukr-i-Allah, durust hain. Mussalman ka matlab bhi jaante hain aap? Mussalman sirf Islam qabool karne se nehi banta; Mussalman wohi hota hain jiska imaan mussallam hota hain. Mere khayal se Bachchan sahib ek aise shaqs hain jinka imaan mussallam hain!

Doosri baat, kisi bhi mazhab ko neechi nigaahon se dekhna Islam ke khilaaf hain! Allah ke Rasool ne yehi sikhaya tha sabko. Aap shayad abhi tak Islam ko samajh hi nehi paaye hain!

Aakhir mein aap se ek guzaarish karna chahunga. Apna mazaak banane se pehle soch lijiyega ki aap kya kehne jaa rahe hain.

Allah aapko insaaniyat se nawaaze!

Fi Amanillah! Allah Hafiz!

Shahryar Khan

An Affair To Remember

At a time when moral policing brigades have almost threatened the freedom of speech and expression in India, Baba Films & Sounds have made a commendable effort to raise the banner of revolt against censorship. I got acquainted with these crusaders when I chanced upon one of their offerings, a compilation of old South Indian porn movies dubbed into Hindi. I was buying some DVDs from a popular video shop when the owner offered me a free sample of their hard work. He rather surprised me (pleasantly, of course!) when he said that if I returned it after watching it, he would give me “better” stock. Their modus operandi is brilliant! The DVD doesn’t carry any label, and that makes it difficult to know what exactly it contains. But the moment you play it, you are introduced to a fascinating world of half-naked pot-bellied men and butt-naked, top-heavy women with Dara Singh thighs and Sachin Tendulkar shoulders. The collection has four movies, aptly named Bol Gori Bol, Jungle Mein Mastiyan, Kamuk Kunwari Ladkiyan, and Manchala Masti Mein-I.

If you are yet to watch this mind-blowing collection then you are surely missing something! After all, in which porn movie will you have to wait for twenty-eight minutes to see the first flashes of exposed skin? In which porn movie will you see a full Bollywood-style song and dance sequence? Where will you find over-weight couples making out with closed eyes, trying to recreate the magic that bound Dhritarashtra and Gandhari together ages ago? Where else will you find actors flaunting their under-garments along with their over-grown asses? It happens only in India! We have the God-bestowed quality to make an ordinary porn film look like an extended Iodex ad (with all the random “Ooh! Aah! Ouch!”). Watching Indi-porn is fun!

All throughout, I had violent fits of laughter. Sample this: “Shanti, jhuke bina koi kaam nehi kar sakti”—an old lady taunting the maid-servant for exposing too much to her horny husband. Try another one: a blind man expresses his desire to have mangoes to a damsel. The lady, out of pity for the wretched creature says to herself: “ab iss mausam mein aam kahan se laaoon? Aisa karti hoon, yehi chooswa leti hoon” (“how do I get mangoes in this season? I think I should make him enjoy my natural mangoes”). What follows is a heart-rending scene where the hapless guy innocently sucks on what he believes to be mangoes. I was moved to tears while going through the scene. Such blatant portrayal of ignorance (oops! innocence) was simply brilliant! Who can do it better but us, the innovative Indians? Shame on those Westerners who think Indians can’t “do it” on tape! In fact, we do it better than anybody else, for we have produced one-sixth of humanity in our bed-rooms with our riotous, close-eyed love-making ways. Indi-porn glorifies our concept that love is blind!

I must say that the compilers have done a commendable job in bringing out the collection in the market. I should also compliment the makers of the original, non-dubbed versions of the movies. They deserve a standing ovation, for they managed to get Censor Board certificates, when mainstream movies like Water and Fire failed to get one, although they had little or no nudity. But I guess it was the creative content of the porn movies that won the Censor Board over. The banality of films like Water and Fire are too well-known.

Check out these movie collections at a local shop near you, if you want to know how we Indians transform the art of love-making to a bout of Sumo wrestling. This is a notable fact given that ours is the land where the Kamasutra was written. Watching this collection will definitely be an affair to remember for you!