I spent months in the UP political arena, accessing secret government papers, and memos and letters exchanged between political leaders. The following report is based on an internet chat transcript I managed to get hold off. It is between Malign Singh Yadav, the erstwhile Chief Minister of Unruly Pradesh (UP), Kumari Mewawati, the present CM of UP, Hammer Singh, strong man of SP and Reject Sharma, the owner of India TV, via Yahoo! Messenger. It might appear scandalous. It actually is.
The chat transcripts can be found below.
its_malign.singh: i m shockd 2 c dat report on
rjct_sharma_niceguy: u hv bin calld as da “man who squandrd 2 mch public money”. dey say dat you wasted a lot of money in xpensiv political campaigns. u also removd well-meaning bureaucrats 4m imprtnt depts & replacd dem with Yadavs. During
rjct_sharma_niceguy: malign singh ji???
rjct_sharma_niceguy: mantriji? u there???
rjct_sharma_niceguy: Buzz!
rjct_sharma_niceguy: Audible: Abbe e… offline ho
its_malign.singh: m here…m here…gt dc…u knw net is slow in up.. :-P
rjct_sharma_niceguy:
its_malign.singh: sharma ji it is vry un4tunate dat u shd thnk lyk dat of me. UP ws perfectly safe in my tym. dere wer no goondas, only a disciplinary army of my suporters who cdnt tolerate nuisance. My job hs alwys bin 2 protect my state & ppl 4m harm. Remmber i ws da Raksha Mantri 1ce? & da bureaucrats, dey wer under-per4min officers brot in by da previus Mewawati regim. i brot in mor efficient Yadav officrs. wats d big dil? al dis nonsense hs bin spred by d opposition. Its a ploy 2 malign meee. LL
rjct_sharma_niceguy: xcus me, bt opposition? i thot u r d opposition nw. :-O
its_malign.singh: watevr! regarding our pol campains, v only highlited da progres made by UP in da last 5 yrs. Hammer Singh ji personally handld da campains. & plzzz dnt play around with meee. i know hw u al made up da Aman Verma casting couch story. da details cn b made public thru sum oder news channel, if u dnt mend
rjct_sharma_niceguy: v also hv details abt da cases of corruption dat u hv indulged in. 2 giv u a hint of wat v knw, v knw da connection betwn Nora Yadav (ur 4mer Chief Secretary), da Noida Land Scam, & u. dese cn jeopardise ur career, since u r out of power. da details cn b leaked out 2 Mewawati ji. :-P
its_malign.singh: dear reject sa’ab…he he he! :-D :-D… i ws joking :-D :-D
its_malign.singh: m wiling 2 invest in
rjct_sharma_niceguy: Audible: Oye chuk de phatte!
rjct_sharma_niceguy: lol JJJ
hammer_boy is now online
rjct_sharma_niceguy: hammer singh ji is online…let’s hv a conference chat…
its_malign.singh: badhiya! plzzz invite him…
hammer_boy has joined the conference
its_malign.singh: aao bhai! hw r u?
hammer_boy: namaste reject ji! namaste malign bhai! kya haalchal?
rjct_sharma_niceguy: namaste! hwz evrythn goin? v wer tlkn bout ya…J
hammer_boy: really??? wow!!! wat ws it bout?
rjct_sharma_niceguy: well…cud u shed more lite on da pol campains?
hammer_boy: J was a perfect campaign! v roped in Amitabh Bachchan 2 campain 4 us… he ws soooo co-operative! he did it free of cost 4 us. hez lyk a bro 2 me!
rjct_sharma_niceguy: Audible: Ae chal e shaane…hawa aane de…
hammer_boy: :-X wat ws dat reject ji? u think m lyin?
rjct_sharma_niceguy: not really… bt i hv heard dat u did it jst 2 consol Amit ji, who ws sad 4 havin lost da “Hot-seat” 2 Shahrukh Khan, along with da money. & i hv learnt dat Amit ji will reciprocate by givin u a role in a film, since u wnt hv nething 2 do bt face nquiries, nw dat u r outta pwr. plzzz nliten us on dis…
its_malign.singh: Audible: arre yahin to dhokha kha
its_malign.singh: i hd askd hammer bhai 2 giv amit ji d
hammer_boy: dts bulshit! tis Mewawati’s chaal…shez a @!&*#!…shez spredin bad wrds abt me…:-X
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon is now online
rjct_sharma_niceguy: ok…Mewawati ji is nw online…lets hear it 4m her…m inviting her 2…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon has joined the conference
rjct_sharma_niceguy: namaste behenji! hw u doin?
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: namaste reject ji! m fine…who els is here?
hammer_boy: Audible: aankhen hai ki batatein...dikhta nahin kya?
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: ohho…malign singh ji & hammer singh ji r also here… :-O…wat r u ppl doin @ dis hour? pakaoing khichdi against me? >:) >:)
rjct_sharma_niceguy: no behenji…v r discusin sum serious issues…hammer singh ji is upset with u…he thnks u r spredin bad wrds against him…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: Audible: Hai Daiyya..bas bhi karo..log kya kahenge!
its_malign.singh: dts not funny…:-X
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: sorry…bt i ws only tryin 2 mk thngs lite…y wud i spred bad wrds abt hammer singh ji? he hs bin hidin in Mumbai, at amit ji’s plc evr since he lst d election…
hammer_boy: m nt hidin…i hv cum dwn 2 bless abhi-ash after der wedding…
rjct_sharma_niceguy: & hez waitin @ Pratiksha..amit ji’s plc…4 a cal 4m cbi…:-D:-D
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: wat is mobile number, karoo kya dial number…hi hi hi..:-D
rjct_sharma_niceguy: :-D :-D
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: hi hi hi…reject ji…did u c hammer singh ji’s dance on Close-up Antakshari? he cn put 2 shame ne belly-dancer in town…he ws lukin sexy…hi hi hi…:-D
hammer_boy: enuf! i knw hw u won d election dis tym…
its_malign.singh: yea…u did booth-capturin…n bribed election commission officers…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: grw up guys…i made brahmins n dalits vote 4 me…a feat dt even da great Currency Raam ji, my guru, cdnt achieve…da kurmis also suportd me…i hv gt absolute majority, mind it…
its_malign.singh: n u made Boney Prasad Verma, defect 4m my party…u split da kurmi votes…i wl kill u! :-X
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: i dint do dat…twas To-hell Gandhi…
hammer_boy: wat?! dat launda? he tlkd abt his family splittin
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: i nvr sed i lyk him! bt i lyk his mom…shez soooo sweeeet!
hammer_boy: u mean dts y u neva married? >:) >:)
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: shut up! dnt 4get dt i m da CM nw…i wl screw up
rjct_sharma_niceguy: enuf ppl! Plzzzz…plzzzzzzzzz stop fighting….behenji, wt r
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: wl fix up malign’s n hammer’s asses…& wl mk brahmins & dalits eat 4m da same platter…>:) >:)
rjct_sharma_niceguy: oh! den i wl neva go 2 UP…behenji…plz hv sum respct 4 religious n communal sentiments of ppl…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: wt do u thnk only malign singh, Cologne Singh and Rosenut Singh hv da rite 2 play da communal harmonium? i wl play it 2!!!!!
rjct_sharma_niceguy: bt behenji, dnt 4get dt da Taj Corridor case is stil pending…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: dnt wry…dis tym i wl sel da Taj! Lord Curzon tried 2 do it at da strt of 20th century…mewawati wl do it in da 21st century…
its_malign.singh: dt wl neva happen…Taj is a property of da wakf board…v wl stage dharnas n walkouts in d assembly if u do dt…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: i wl throw my slippers @ u if u do dt…
hammer_boy: jst try dt 1ce & u wl c wt v wl do…u wnt hv al da mewa alone…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: u shitty ppl! wat do u thnk of urslvs?
its_malign.singh: hold
!
rjct_sharma_niceguy: Audible: arre dil pe mat le yaar…
kunwarihoon_2mharihoon: shut up reject! I wl reject al
rjct_sharma_niceguy: who d @!&*#! do u think u r…
The rest of the transcript couldn’t be provided as the conversation wanders off to wanton profanities from here. Nevertheless, you al knw nw dt UP elections hv bin real nasty…God help UP…God Save The Queen!
9 comments:
oh Dad m completly flattered... ur techniques keep advancing each day!!! M already having laughing fits here... courtesy - Rosenut, malign, "kunwarihoon..."!!!
cool concept of clubbing "chatting wid politics"... do get this new style of urs patented as soon as possible...
n one thing's for sure dat after reject_sharma_ niceguy, mani_sharma_nice guy is next...
Dad u r fully loaded to start ur own channel... start looking for sponsors... heheheheh
KEEP ROCKING!
my goodness!!....where in the world do u get these ideas??...its wonderful!! funny, sarcastic, cheesy and what not...great going dude...carry on. Must say...that was bold..hope ms.kuwarihoon does nt come across ur blog...:)In nutshell...great work again...
money_magadh_shamra and seth_yaha_come wud be the next two ids talking.. what say mama?? :):)
Brilliant.. Mindblowing.. I already told you you are a genius.. I run out of words everytime and have to use the same words again and again..
The idea was superb.. I think this wud the high point of the magazine.. It will surely sell like hot cakes..
Great going mama..! We are proud of you!
hoquehmama simly ur u have great writing skilll i dont have any word to express my feelins .u have a supreb brain to think this if u havea time can u give me tution i want to learn from you.from where u found this type of idea.u r a realy a supreb genious rockin guy.
NICE CONTENT AND CONCEPT
From the day one I have seen this guy in orkut communities I have been following him. Infact had couple of talk with Satya that he is wasting his time. But he is now on track. He is known for unconventional thinking and brave. "Bug Suraiya" is a nice transcript of his thought and his eye on UP politics.
Most of the journalist see whatever is written by Khudawand but presentation is taking him far from others. The language used is complete chatting language, that is making it different.
Keep faith on yourselves. Don't carried away with peoples "WAH WAH WAH ....
hahaaa,, mind blowing...
man its amazing how this man comes up with such ideas !!!
brilliant .. like Sat_yo_calm has mentioned we are out of words !!
you are zimply superb!!!
ENOUGH!! imy tummy is going to burst out now...U v another name..manipal bhatti..ur show can be called HIT SHOW.
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