It Happened One Night

I was supposed to go out on a date with a new-found friend on Saturday. Now, when you go out to meet someone for the first time, what are you supposed to wear? I didn’t know that either. So, I called up a couple of friends for help. One of them advised me to wear Jeans, as women love it (according to her). I decided to do some research before trying it out (I had this lame notion that women get “wowed” when a guy shows off his info-base before her).

Jeans has an interesting history. It is believed that the pre-cursor of jeans was an Indian thick cotton cloth called Dungaree. Dyed in indigo, it was sold near the Dongari Fort near Bombay. It was popular among sailors who used to make trousers out of the cloth. Jeans was developed in the island of Genoa for the first time, and is often referred to as “twilled cotton cloth from Genoa”. The first denim came from Nîmes, France, hence de Nimes, the name of the fabric. The French bleu de Gênes, from the Italian blu di Genova, literally the "blue of Genoa" dye of their fabric, is the root of the names for these trousers, "jeans" and "blue jeans", today.

Armed with my sound research, I dressed up for the tete a tete in a pair of Levis denims (the brand name originates from Levi Strauss, a German dry goods merchant living in San Francisco who used to sell blue denims to the miners of the region in the 1850s). The meeting was arranged at the QBA by Night restaurant cum bar at Connaught Place. We ordered Virgin Mary mocktails as a starter. “Do you know why Vodka and Gin are sometimes referred to as The Rapists?”—I was too eager to show off my knowledge database to her, so I wasted no time. She was taken aback by my question. I, like a valiant knight, gave her the answer: “Actually, when you add Vodka or Gin to Virgin Mary, it becomes Bloody Mary cocktail. I guess you can figure out The Rapist connection now! He! He!” I didn’t realise it then that it’s not the right way to start a conversation with someone you are out on a date with. She threw a rather puzzled look at me. “Virgin Mary is obviously the Mother of Lord Jesus; but Bloody Mary was actually a historical character. She was the daughter of Catherine of Aragon (first wife of King Henry VIII) and the elder step-sister of Queen Elizabeth I. She let loose a reign of terror by persecuting the Protestants (of the Anglican Church) and propagating Catholicism in England. Her reign witnessed a lot of bloodshed, and hence, she earned the epithet, Bloody Mary”—I added. My girl was so astounded (apparently) that she almost choked over her drink!

So, the next trivia came with the menu-card. It had separate prices listed against each item offered in the menu. I quizzed her again: “what is the French term for such a menu?” She gave me a blank look. I gallantly replied: “a la carte!” She smiled again. And the saga continued. I gave her all sorts of trivia, the entire evening. Every morsel of food that she ate went with a humble dose of trivia. For example, while she was enjoying her brownie, I told her how the term “brownie points” came into popular usage. I told her that the term derives from the name of a 19th century American railroad superintendent, George R. Brown who, in 1886, devised what was then an innovative system of merits and demerits for railroad employees on the Fall Brook Railway in New York State. Accounts of his system were published in railroad journals, and adopted by many leading U.S. railroads. American railroad employees soon began referring colloquially to "brownie points", and at some point, the term entered the general vocabulary.

My girl clapped her hands, in appreciation (?). She seemed to be bowled over by my intellectual mannerisms (antics, I realised later).

After we were done, we decided to take a stroll around Connaught Place. All the while, I kept on adding up to her info-base about the place. I showed her PVR Plaza and Rivoli and gave them their history (how they were the oldest theatres in Delhi and were owned by the same man who owned Regal Cinema, which used to roll out the red carpet for its audiences).

As the evening came to an end, she surprised me by hugging me tight! Man…that felt so good! I knew that the first kiss with her was not far away. But I was not willing to wait for it. I thought maybe if I gave her some trivia on kissing, she would give me ‘that’ out of admiration. I told her how kissing is an art, and the ‘French kiss’ (I wanted that!) is the best kind of kiss. The name French kiss has nothing to do with France or the French. It is just that the British have a penchant of attaching licentious behaviour with the French. In Victorian England, French kissing was considered to be indecent. But in the 21st century, it is considered to be a cool practice.

After hearing that, my girl pushed me off and paced away to the metro station (out of nowhere a Delhi Metro trivia had popped up in my head, but I chose to ignore it), leaving me behind in a state of awe. I didn’t understand what wrong I said. I was only trying to impress her. Dejected, I too walked away towards the bus-stop.

I was thinking about the whole incident when my cell-phone beeped. It was her sms! “I am so sorry to have left that way. But I am fed up of your trivia-talk. I am not interested in you anymore. You are a librarian’s delight, not mine. Please don’t call me again. Bye.”

Never in my life did I feel so humiliated. Come on, I was only trying to impress her. How mean of her to call me a librarian’s delight! I felt as if someone had hit me below the belt! What do you think, folks? Is trivia so bad? I still don’t think so. Next month, I will tell you how “hitting below the belt” originated. Till then, keep the faith!